Cowboy Bebop - The Meaning of Life
by vectormatrix
Summary: This story takes place after spike's battle with vicious. - With a theory to explain Spike's fate and the possibility of living again.
1. Default Chapter

Haasim Mahanaim | vectormatrix  
  
Cowboy Bebop - The Meaning of Life August 15, 2002  
  
  
  
Author's Commentary  
  
This introduction will be somewhat long, but I hope you will read it since I feel it is important to share these thoughts.  
  
Fanfiction for Cowboy Bebop can be somewhat unsatisfying since the series ended with the implication of Spike's death. - My younger brother has informed that that many fans have attempted to write stories that deals with Spike's death or ignores it altogether. However, I didn't want to write a story that is simply wishful thinking. - I want to be able to believe that any story I write could be a possible continuation of the series if the writers had decided to continue the show. One night I came to the realization that for fans like myself, I must figure out a way of explaining that Spike really didn't die at all, in fact, I would have to prove that he was never dreaming at all. Without being able to prove this, my attempt at continuing the stories and relationship would feel meaningless.  
  
So before we begin the story, I will explain my theory that explains why Spike was never dreaming.  
  
  
  
Was it all a dream?  
  
Throughout the series, Spike was convinced he was dreaming after being shot by the love of his life, Julia. This means, that Jet, Faye, Ed and reality itself, were all creations of Spike's imagination Yet, all of the characters on the series had their own personal lives, history and motivations. How would Spike (or any person) be able to create such an elaborate dream filled with complex characters and situations, meanwhile dealing with the trivialities of everyday life?  
  
The Meaning of Life  
  
The series made it clear that Julia was the focus of Spike's world. Imagine for a moment what it would be like to loose have such a person while dealing with their betrayal. After being shot, Spike's world started to unravel and he couldn't mentally cope with finding a new purpose for living. However, he had one goal that was clear, to confront and destroy his mortal enemy. But in order to this, he would no longer be able to care about his life or well being, instead, he would have to confront any dangers in his path without hesitation. In order to do this, he would need to believe that life it self no longer existed in the way he remembered. - This is where the dream delusion begins. He psychological conditioned himself to believe this metaphor for this pain so that he would be able to act upon it.  
  
This would also explain why he constantly referred to being in a bad dream trying to wake up, he had conditioned himself to repeat this to himself to a point that he finally genuinely believed it.  
  
State of Limbo and Living in Purgatory  
  
Another interpretation is that Spike was neither living nor dead and went through his life on the Bebop in a ghost-like state. - In his scenario, killing Vicious would be the only way to free him self of this world and finally face death. However this doesn't explain what caused his plunge into purgatory. Simply losing Julia should not have been enough to kill him. And if so, that idea contradicts the ending since when Spike falls to ground after his fight with Vicious, his body remains. If it had been his sprit wondering this world his real body should be where he had originally died.  
  
Signs within the cards  
  
Throughout the series, playing cards where consistently and mysteriously revealing an Ace of cards regardless of who or where the card was being revealed. - In episode II, Stray Dogs Strut, an elderly fortuneteller was able to use mystical cards to help Abdul "find what he was looking for". This subtle, yet supernatural scene suggests that within the world of Cowboy Bebop, supernatural forces interact with the living. It would be conceivable, that these same entities manipulated the randomness of a stack of playing cards in order to consistently reveal an ace of cards as a sign that the viewers mistaken as validation that Spike is dreaming.  
  
Starlight and the Human Soul  
  
Whatever connection there is between the human soul and the stars within the sky, could possibly based upon a state of mind. - When a star faded way at the end of the final episode, it may not necessarily have meant that Spike has left the world of the living.  
  
  
  
  
  
The New Theory  
  
If Spike was never dreaming or a lost soul, I suggest that he in fact went into a dream state after his encounter with Vicious. - Since he had lost his strongest ties to this world he could have simply entered a comatose state.  
  
Conclusion  
  
Through the ending of the series, Cowboy Bebop, was certainly vague, the commonly accepted interpretations do not explain many of the things that happened throughout the stories. I hope that some of the points I raised have caused you to question what you once believed.  
  
I am certainly willing to deal with responses and if someone thinks that my theory is incoherent nonsense, you can't blame a spike-faye supporter from at least trying to prove they still have a chance.  
  
Now that all of this has been dealt with, the story will now begin.  
  
  
  
  
  
Introduction  
  
In a sterile hospital room, Spike's lifeless body rested on a bed next to various computer displays. - The environment seemed unfitting for such a colourful person, but in a quiet way, it served its purpose. A simple foldout chair next to the bed remained unused while Faye paced back and forth inside the room. There were no windows inside this small box, so she had no idea how much time had passed since she had locked herself inside.  
  
Everything was still a blur to her. - While on the Bebop, she received an urgent communication that she would had ordinarily ignore or at least had taken lightly. But before Spike left to battle his mortal enemy, she knew that this situation would not have the usual carefree ending that she and Jet had become so accustomed to.  
  
When she arrived at the hospital she was told that there was nothing that they could do to save him. Yet, they could not fully explain what had happened to cause this dire situation. "He wont wake up", she was simply told.  
  
If Spike were truly dead, she would be able to run away to some far away place where no one could find her or comfort her. so that she may be alone. But instead, that the fates of the universe toyed with her emotions. Causing someone that she had grown fond to be in a state that appears as death, but lacks any real understanding or hope for a recovery.  
  
She wanted to kneel on the side of the bed and weep on Spike's chest, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. - She thought about how many times she could have been more than a mischievous business partner and how she could have been a friend. - Instead of being something much more ambiguous.  
  
How could she rest next to him as if she had any right to be close to him? - There were so many times that he had referred to being lost in a dream and yet she never pressed him to talk about his feelings, she never allowed herself to truly know him, to talk to him and to comfort him when the world felt so nightmarishly unbearable.  
  
Out of all the deliberate attempts to seem uninterested and uncaring towards him, she had never really thought much about the vague and cryptic comments he constantly voiced during serious moments. In retrospect, she assumed that he said those things in the same way dark and mysterious men usually have a flowery way if using words to despite a deep inner pain. And she realized that it was that darkness that appealed to her in some way.  
  
For years Faye had been dealing with trying to make sense of her past and while struggling to create a future. In many ways, Spike's attitude towards the world wasn't that much different from her own. Which is probably she never confronted Spike about his constantly sadness of living life as if in a dream. - She wanted to be able to maintain that dark and intense connection that they shared, yet never spoke of. Meanwhile, she didn't want to face the fact that her life is something that is complicated and filled with misery that needs to be dealt with. Perhaps if she had shared these thoughts with Spike they both would have been able to find a different kind of intensity, not rooted in pain.  
  
But the even bigger realization was the notion that allowing herself to be vulnerable for just one moment, may have prevented Spike from falling into this limbo. But as ever second passes she becomes more frustrated with the thought that she will never be able to fix any of things that she regrets. And even worse, she'll have to live with the knowledge that all of this could have been so easily avoided. - Even if the past few months would have lead to the same fatal conclusion, at least they would have been able to experience some sort of happiness together.  
  
Roaming the solar system without any memories of her past had caused her to interact with people in a way that was awkward and lacking trust or real friendship. People ordinarily learn how to function as an adult from their experiences from childhood and adolescence, but until recently, she lacked those experience, or at least the memories of them. But now that she knows her past, she doesn't know who she is anymore. How can she integrate what she could have been, with the person that she is now?  
  
While lost in her thoughts a change on a display monitor caught her attention. There wasn't the expected chime or alert sound that you would expect to hear considering how active the various charts and graphs were moving about the screens.  
  
Suddenly several doctors and nurses walked into the room. They seem quite interested in the data on the screens, but their reaction lacked the urgency she wish they would display, if not, at least for her benefit.  
  
She was starting to feel as if these next few moments would be crucial in changing the course of her life. Will the faint, almost undetectable, signs of life from Spike's body cease to register on the medical instruments? - Allowing her to begin the grieving process, finally ending this limbo of optimism and hopelessness, which strangely mirror that state that Spike is in.  
  
Or will some crucial clue be revealed, perhaps providing a task or an objective that she can work towards? - Something she can control, so that she can continue living with that belief that life that she is the one person in the history of mankind, who can actual control their life and obtain whatever they desire. whatever she needs.  
  
Will Spike finally rejoin the real world with all of the challenges and struggles that he avoided by never accepting the frightening reality of having to deal with loss and the struggle to regain happiness?  
  
  
  
Chapter Two coming soon  
  
Like any author, I'd love to hear what you think about this story. :=) vector_matrix@digiverse.net | vectormatrix.digiverse.net 


	2. The Waiting Room

Haasim Mahanaim  
  
The Meaning of Life  
  
Chapter 2 - The Waiting Room vector_matrix@digiverse.net | http://digiverse.net/vectormatrix  
  
Faye sat inside her room aboard the spacevessel, Bebop. She had finished her ritualistic viewing of her childhood home video and was daydreaming about the girl displayed on this monitor. She tried to imagine what kinds of things that girl hoped for in life. Despite the recent recovery of her memories, trivial moments and feelings from her past were difficult to recall in the same way it would be difficult for any other adult to remember certain memories from their youth. However Faye has no reason to realize that she is not expected to remember and this caused her frustration. But instead of being angry, she decided this was a challenge, a challenge to create her own dreams and ambitions. Dreams of a house, with children, and a husband, a lover who would be with her until the end of time. - Because secretly, she believed that she had the power inside her to live forever.  
  
The door to her room slowly cracked open revealing the yellow moody lighting from the corridor of the ship. Spike's silhouette stood in the doorway waiting for Faye to embrace him. Spike was alive because she wanted him, she needed him and her will power was all that was needed to fulfill the happiness she desired in life. But as she climbed out of her bed and approached the man waiting for her, her world ceased to exist, everything went black and she awoke to discover that she was sitting in a chair, in a hospital waiting room. The dream was over. Yet, while making the transition from a dream world to reality, she chose to hold onto to the reality of that dream. For a few brief seconds she tried to convince herself that Spike was really waiting for her somewhere and that he wasn't inside a room slowly slipping away from her. But as memories her dream slowly faded away, she could not ignore the conflicting memories she had experiences in the last few hours. She could not ignore the discussion she had with the doctors as they explained Spike's momentary signs of recovery followed by a regression into the limbo that began this agony in the first place.  
  
Sitting in a chair across the room, was the only friend she had left. - Jet remained stoic as he quietly watched Faye. He watched her eyes swell up with tears. He watched her instinctively turn her face away in what appeared to be pride. He then saw her allowing herself to be vulnerable, simply because she didn't want to feel any other way.  
  
Jet never truly knew how to define his relationship with Spike. But he had always known that he would end up in a situation, sitting in a room not too different from the one he was sitting in. - Patiently waiting to hear a doctor confirm that Spike was in fact a mere mortal whose luck had run out. But unlike the scenarios he had imagined, there was a sense of anxiety he had not expected. - Not because of the state of limbo Spike existed in, but because he didn't want his cocky, wise cracking partner to die.  
  
Similar to Spike and Faye, Jet had his spare of demons haunting his past. But those feelings were not covered up by some sort of macho façade. Instead, it wasn't a façade at all. Jet was one of the few people in the world whose entire personality was conditioned to accept that life sucks. He didn't harbor any anger towards the past nor did her have troubling regrets or emotional baggage of any kind. It was this attitude that allowed him to befriend Spike while showing detachment from the seriousness of Spike's choice to constantly jeopardize his own life. But as he sat in the waiting room hoping for a moment that may never arrive, he that Spike and Faye had made an impression he was not aware until having to confront the possibility of truly losing them. The thought of this caused Jet to realize there would be a void left in their place that would create feelings of regret that he never thought possible.  
  
Looking at Faye, Jet realized that if Spike does not awakening from his limbo she will be forever scarred and he didn't want her to runaway from the only person left who could be considered a friend. He didn't want her to be alone. trying to make sense of the overwhelming anger and sadness that he was starting to experience aswell. He wanted to be a friend to Faye. - The more he thought about it, he realized not much would change. He had no desire making the transition from ideal tough guy to become a an emotional pussycat.  
  
But when she needed him to be a friend the most, he decided that he could take that moment to let some hint of compassion to slip through his macho exterior. He wasn't sure if this would be enough to make Faye stay with him, but he strongly hoped it would be.  
  
Tears began to stream down Faye's cheeks and she felt insecure wondering what Jet could be thinking of her in this state. But after a moment of silence and blank stares, a reassuring sigh escaped Jet's mouth as he slightly nodded his head and attempted a sympathetic smile. 


	3. The Lucide Dream

Haasim Mahanaim  
  
The Meaning of Life  
  
Chapter 3 - The Lucid Dream vector_matrix@digiverse.net | http://digiverse.net/vectormatrix  
  
Faye walked into a nondescript patient room and was relieved to discover that it was empty of any doctors or nurses who would potential interfere with her best chance for saving Spike.  
  
The door to the room was still slightly opened and as Faye approached the opening she confirmed that Jet patrolling the area to make sure nobody entered this room. - Faye then made a hand gesture signaling Ed to approach the room. Edward was still wearing her trademark shorts and torn T-Shirt, but her mood lacked her usual energy as she attempted to behave according to the seriousness of the situation.  
  
Ed made an unceremonious entrance into the hospital waiting. Faye was so startled by her ghost like appearance that yelped when Ed greeted her.  
  
"Faye, Faye." Ed whispered. "What if Ed hurts Spike even worse?"  
  
Faye then kneeled down on one leg so that she could address Ed face to face. "What were doing is kinda risky. But I know you can do this. You're the only one who can." Faye then began to question whether or not it was appropriate to convey the seriousness of the situation. Faye had never seen Ed at a loss for words. Her head stared at the ground with an expression that was cryptic but definitely serious.  
  
Suddenly, Ed reverted to her wide faced grin and wrapped her arms around Faye's neck while patting her on the back in an exaggerated manner. "Don't worry." Ed then released Faye and positioned her face so that their faces were close to each other while still displaying her effortless grin of confidence. "You can count on Ed."  
  
Despite the quirkiness of this young girl, Faye knew that she was a capable child who could be trusted to handle her task. - When Ed approached Faye and Jet in the waiting room, she rapidly explained her random hacking sprees that lead her to the medical database detailing Spike's situation. Faye was not entirely clear on how Ed managed to travel this distance after her sudden departure a few days earlier. But it seemed that she had somehow acquired the use of a zipcraft. Faye knew that the child had an affect on strangers that made her persuasive, but somehow she didn't really believe that Ed hitched hiked her way to this hospital.  
  
Ed was yet another unique person in Faye's life, her departure was sudden and not fully understood. In a way Faye sometimes felt as if she reluctantly assumed the role of an older sister. There was something frustrating about caring for someone who would suddenly leave without warning or any real comprehension of how that would affect others. But that's what Faye loved about Ed, her innocence, something she had lost and somewhat relived through Ed.  
  
She wondered how Ed perceived the world. She wondered if Ed ever felt scared or vulnerable. Does she ever think about love, friendship and the pursuit of happiness? There were so many questions she wanted to ask about Ed's adventure, perhaps she could convince Edward to stay this time, but there were more serious matters to be dealt with first.  
  
Faye stood watch over Ed as she assembled the various gadgets and gizmos she had brought with her. Ed then placed a visor on Spike's unconscious body and then handed a similar device Faye.  
  
Ed had modified the neural gaming device used by the "Scratch" movement to provide an interface for interacting with Spike within his dreams.  
  
While watching Edward at work Faye realized that Ed never ceased to amaze her. - She wondered how this young girl was able to gather the needed equipment so quickly.  
  
Even if Ed decided to abruptly leave once her task was completed, Faye took comfort knowing that regardless of how far their paths may part, they can always rely on each when needed.  
  
Waiting for Ed to engage the interactive program, Faye sat on a fold-out chair next to the Spike's hospital bed.  
  
For a moment she wasn't sure if Edward would be able to execute her ambitious plan, but shortly after conceiving those thoughts, she began to feel a sense of dizziness. It wasn't sickening or uncomfortable, instead, it felt as if she was too tired to move or to think or to do anything. Suddenly everything faded away and she found herself sitting in her bedroom aboard the Bebop spaceship. The door to her room slowly cracked open revealing the yellow moody lighting from the corridor of the ship. Spike's silhouette stood in the doorway waiting silently. Faye then climbed out her bed and approached him. "Spike?" anxious for a reply she waited for what seemed like minutes, until he spoke to her.  
  
"I thought I lost you." before Faye could say anything, Spike continued, "I love you Julia." He then embraced her, but she did not resist him. She was aware that something was very wrong. But she was unable, unwilling to stop herself from the forces that were controlling her like a puppet retelling a fairy tale.  
  
The moment was passionate, but lacking the raw sexual intensity expected between two soul mates. They simply held each other, both trapped within a dream, while the real world waited for them to return. 


End file.
